Of Drunken Nights and Douchebags
by Sahar-Chan
Summary: After having one too many drinks, Sakura decides to call someone to pick her up. She ends up dialing the wrong number and guess who's now stuck with a drunk kunoichi? Yes, it's none other than our beloved Sasuke Uchiha.


**Hey, people! Yes, I'm still alive –barely. This is my first one-shot. I've written it when I'm supposed to be studying for my mid terms. It's funny how I only seem to be a productive writer when I'm procrastinating because of some exam or another. Anyway, here's the fanfic and I hope you like it! Enjoy!**

**WARNING: This fanfic was not beta-read so it may contain an embarrassing number of mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: I do own Naruto… NOT.**

**_Of Drunken Nights and Douchebags_**

….

"_I love you, Sakura-Chan!"_

Sakura shook her head and took another gulp from the sake bottle trying to forget the hopeful look on Naruto's face when he confessed to her... And also trying to forget the absolute misery he exuded after she told him that she didn't feel the same. She could never reciprocate that kind of feelings. Not for him. And towards any other guy. And, it's all his fault!

She downed another gulp of the alcohol. It burned its way down her throat and she relished the feeling. It helped temper down the anger. How dare he do this to her? Didn't she suffer enough? Wasn't it time that he leave her the heck alone?

She swung the bottle again. When nothing came, she pulled it back and looked at it. Huh, what do you know? It was empty. Was it the third bottle? The fourth? She shrugged. Since she was still not passed out, whatever the number was, it was clearly not enough.

"Bartender," she hollered. "Another bottle please... Make that two. Just to be on the safe side." That should guarantee a nice temporary coma.

"I'm sorry, Haruno-san but I can't," he said hesitantly. "As it could lead to alcohol poisoning, the city had put a limit on the amount of alcohol we serve to each person. And, you've reached that limit."

Having heard of Sakura Haruno's infamous temper, the bartender backed away cautiously. The truth was, she was a bottle and a half past that limit but he kept that to himself.

Sakura looked at him in confusion. When his words finally penetrated the alcohol induced fog, she felt her temper rise.

"Limit? You're giving me a limit on alcohol consumption? I'm the hokage's apprentice! Sake had probably replaced my blood by now and you're giving me LIMITS!" she screeched. Not her finest moment.

The whole bar had gone silent. Everyone was keenly aware of how close they were to total and utter annihilation. But, drunk as she was, Sakura knew that the bartender was just doing his job. And, causing a bigger scene would only make her look more of a drunken idiot then she already was at that moment.

Heaving a disgusted sigh, she got up for the bar stool to leave. The room spun around her a little then settled in crookedly. She walked -stumbled- out of the bar and onto the street. Looking left and then right, she realized she had no idea how to get home. And there were no taxis in sight. Time to call for back up.

As she scrolled through her contacts, Sakura wondered who to call.

Hinata? And tell her what? The man you're in love with confessed to me and I'm trying to drink my way into forgetting it ever happened? Nope.

Ino? Nah, she'll just poke and try to pry answers out if her. Sakura was not in the mood for an inquisition. Next!

Kakashi? No, too high a chance of running into Naruto.

Naruto? Hell. No.

Sai? Yeah that can be a safe choice. Naruto would want someone who understands feelings, i.e. _not_ Sai. Besides, Sai wouldn't pester her with questions if she asked him not to. He'd happily escort her home and hopefully make a detour to the liquor store on the way there. She just hoped he answered his phone.

She propped herself on the nearest wall, pressed his name on the screen and held the phone to her ear.

And, waited.

_Come on, Sai, pick up!_

"Hello."

.

.

.

That was not Sai.

"Hello." Oh, that voice! The voice of dreams and nightmares –mostly dreams_ and, the reason behind all her miseries. But there was a new raspy quality to it, like he just woke up, or she woke him up.

Disbelieving, she brought the phone to her face. The name on the screen hit her with the force of a Chidori to the head. Sasuke Uchiha!

Why would it say Sasuke Uchiha? She specifically dialed Sai… didn't she?

_But, Sasuke's name is right below Sai's on your contact list. And, let's face it; your eye-hand coordination isn't exactly at its best, Haruno!_

Now, she was screwed. Damn her drunken fingers! Maybe, she could hang up and he wouldn't find out it was her.

"Sakura, is that you?"

Right, caller ID. Sakura thumped her head against the wall.

"Yeah," she said.

She was _not _asking him to pick her up from a bar. She had to think of something. A reason for calling the Uchiha at –she pulled the phone from her ear again and glanced at the glaring light of the screen- one and a half in the morning. She'd been drinking for four hours? How time flies when you're getting hammered!

She thumped her head against the wall again.

"Is everything okay?" _Oh yeah, peachy. I'm just trying to smash my head against the brick behind me so I can finally pass out._ And, was that worry she detected in his voice? No, it can't be. She must be drunker that she'd thought.

"Yeah, I was just, you know, call to…uh… check up on you?" Wow, could that sound any lamer? And, she might or might not have slurred the words. She crossed her fingers hoping that he hadn't noticed.

"Are you drunk?"

Damn his smart brain. And, damn whoever said that crossing your fingers makes your wishes come true. She was damning a lot of things, she mused. She really couldn't lie to him. Even if her inhibited brain cells could somehow come back on line and come up with a nice consistent believable lie, her slur would still give her away.

"Yeah. I'm actually going to call Sai to pick me up. But, I accidently clicked your number. Sorry for bothering you good night," she said quickly and ended the call.

She hugged her phone to her chest, bit her lip, closed her eyes and prayed that this night would turn out to be nothing more than a nightmare, or a genjetsu. Yep, she would rather believe she was stuck in a genjetsu than admit this was real!

The phone rang in her hands and she nearly threw it out in surprise. She knew who the caller was. Still, hope springs eternal.

She looked at the screen and her hope crashed and burned. She toyed with the idea of ignoring the call for a few seconds then she remembered how persistent the last Uchiha was.

"Hello."

"What bar?"

"Really, Sasuke, there's no need. I'm just going to call Sai."

"And probably wake him up too. But, I'm already up. So there's no need to bother him."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He's a good friend," Sakura said, feeling defensive at being called a bother.

In a much softer tone, he asked again, "Sakura, what's the name of the bar?" The gentle way he said it, as if he could tell how close she was to a mental breakdown, did her in. She gave him the name of the bar.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

The line went dead. She heaved a big sigh put her phone back in her pocket and crossed her arms, waiting for prince not-so-charming to arrive.

Five guys rounded the corner and headed her way. Judging by their unsteady steps, they were even more shitfaced than she was. Thinking that they'd just walk passed her, she paid them no mind.

"Hey, pretty thing!" One of them called.

Sakura's eye twitched. Were they talking to her? She looked over at the group as they got closer. Judging by the big lopsided grin they sported, yep, she was the pretty _thing_.

"Go away," she said not in the mood to reason with drunken idiots.

"Come on, now. Loosen up. You'll have fun, we promise."

_Not on your life, boys._ They finally reached her. They stood around her, cornering her into the wall she leaned against. One of them touched his hand to her hair. She batted it away.

"Oh," he leered. We got feisty one, boys. He pulled a knife out of his pocket. "Now, you'll have to behave little girl."

_They just messed with the wrong woman!_ Sakura figured that if she couldn't vent out her anger with whiskey, she could vented out against these guys. Drunk or not, she was putting up a fight. With a mirthless laugh, she grabbed the guy that touched her hair.

Sasuke caught her disposing of the last guy. She caught the drunken man by the throat and delivered a swift blow to the side of his neck. He fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"No, I'm just finishing up."

Sakura looked at Sasuke as he examined the carnage she left. "What happened?"

"They attacked me," she said cheerily. Now that she'd exerted some access energy, she was feeling a lot better. And, whatever adrenaline she'd gathered from the battle seemed to be fading to be replaced by the buzz of the sake.

He quit surveying the scene and focused his intense gaze on her. She tried not to squirm under it.

"You're hurt," he growled.

"Huh?"

He rolled his eyes heavenward as if asking for divine intervention in dealing with her. He strolled to her and gingerly lifted her left hand. She looked at the limp. _Well, what do you know?_ There was a surface cut that ran from her shoulder to just below her elbow.

"You didn't feel it?"

"No," she said still looking at the wound to both examine the cut and to keep from staring at the Uchiha. She was drunk and she would not be held responsible for her actions where he was concerned. She might do something stupid like droll on him... Or other things.

"You should know better than to stay at this part of town at these hours."

"I can handle myself," she said pointing her thumb at the unconscious men behind her.

"Clearly you can," he retorted waving her injured hand around like one might do a paper doll.

She winced as the movement jarred the cut. Apparently, when you're drunk, wounds only start to hurt when you become aware of them.

He grunted at her grimace of pain. The insensitive brute! If that was his version of an apology she was not accepting it.

"Why are you drunk anyway? It's not like you."

Yeah, she was not touching that subject with a ten-foot pole.

"Tough day," she replied vaguely.

"Looks like you made it tougher."

After rejecting Naruto, getting drunker than Tsunade after losing a bet, and fighting those idiots, Sakura had finally reached her breaking point. She yanked her injured hand from his grasp.

"Well, I'm sorry we can't always be infallible and emotionally dead like yourself," she said emphasizing her point by poking him in the chest because everyone knew poking someone always got your point across, or so her drunken mind convinced her. "Sometimes, we, mere mortals, have a bad day. Say, one of your dearest friends confesses to you." _Poke._ "And you know you can't feel the same way about him." _Poke._ "Because you're still hung up on a douchebag!" _Poke, poke._ "And, the best way we can find to numb the pain of hurting your friend and getting over said douchebag is to get shit-faced. But then, you ask someone to help pick you up. And who do you accidentally dial?"

The weak punch to the chest probably clued him in.

"The douchebag," he said softly.

"Exactly!" her voice broke.

So much for not discussing it! Angry at him, at herself, at the whole world, Sakura spun around and staggered away. She'd find her way home eventually. If not, she'll just sleep in the street. Anything was better than dealing with the situation with Sasuke right now.

She didn't make it past two steps when he reached for her arm. She tried to tug it back. But, he held on.

"What?"

"You're not over me," he said, his deep gruff voice washing over her.

"Yeah, let me count all the ways I'm not discussing that. Just take me home, Uchiha."

The arrogant ass just smirked.

"You're not over me," he repeated

"Yeah, well, it's not for a lack of trying. Believe me. I don't exactly enjoy being thought of as a nuisance or taken for granted."

What looked like regret flashed through his eyes. But before she could be sure she saw it, it was gone. Sasuke Uchiha having regrets over her? Not likely! It was probably just a trick of the poor street lighting. And, he still hadn't let go of her arm.

"Sasuke, could we please discuss this when I'm sober. Or, you know, pretend this night never happened."

"No." Well there he goes dashing her hopes...again. Nothing new there! His hold tightened marginally around her arm and he tugged her to him. She fell into his chest and tried really hard not to burrow into the warm emanating from him. How could someone so detached and antisocial be so cuddly? It wasn't fair!

"Sasuke," she really liked saying his name, "I need to get home."

He just looked at her with his I'm-going-to-get-my-way look. Feeling drained and just flat out sick of everything, she let her head drop to his chest.

"What do you want from me?"

_Everything_, Sasuke wanted to say. When they were young, he had feelings for her. It took him a long time to admit that to himself. He was too blinded by his childish revenge to see her in the innocent, strong girl with a heart of gold that she had been. He had questioned himself during his training with Orochimaru ...thinking about how was she doing, did he sometimes appear in her dreams, did she suddenly stop whatever she was doing and think about him like he sometimes did thinking of her, how would have things turned out if he stayed in Konoha ...then he would completely block these thoughts, afraid that she'd prove to be too much of a temptation and he'd go back to the village with his revenge unfinished.

In the last battle of the latest ninja war and over the couple of years that he'd been back in town, he'd see that that little girl has lost her innocence –partly his fault, knew- but she hadn't lost her gentleness. She'd gained a legendary strength, an unprecedented reputation across the five lands and the love and respect of everyone around her –not to mention the very, _very_ nice figure of a full grown woman.

Since he'd gotten back, he'd tried to fight his feelings for her. He'd soon discovered that that was an exercise in futility. So, he had stuck with hiding his feelings, which was a skill as natural to an Uchiha as breathing. He had known he didn't deserve her and he'd resigned himself to letting her go and watch as she dated a couple of losers, silently rejoicing whenever she dumped everyone one of them everyone of them after the first date.

"I need you to be honest with me," he said, schooling his face into an impassive mask, instinctively preparing himself for rejection. "Do you still love me?" He needed to be sure it wasn't just the sake talking. With her snuggled up against him as she was and with her face buried in his chest, he was sure she could hear the wild thumping of his heart. A heart only she could stir into such chaotic beating.

"Why should I tell you?" she slurred angrily. "So, you can think that I'm annoying again? Or worse, so, you can freak out and vanish? Again?" the last was word was spoken with so much buried pain that he just couldn't take it anymore. He buried his fingers in the softness of her hair –something he'd been craving for as long as he'd first laid eyes on the pink tresses. He tugged gently at the locks trying to get her to look up at him.

She met his eyes with her the most vivid shade of green of her own. And, he could see the answer to his question. A love so bright he almost couldn't stand to look at it shined from the depth of her soul. It was mixed with the painful hurt he'd brought upon her. He didn't deserve her love. Not even a little. But he'd die before giving it up again. Something else snagged his attention and made him breathe a little harder. Fierce desire lurked dangerously in her green eyes, calling out to him and he was helpless against it. Vowing to make up for his past mistakes, Sasuke lowered his lips to hers.

Kami, her lips were the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted. He kissed her gently, learning the taste of her; Sake and Sakura.

But, she wasn't having any of his gentleness. It soon turned passionate. Sakura buried her fingers in Sasuke's hair, the other one going around his neck. Sasuke, on board with the new plan, linked his arms around her lower back and pulled her in closer.

_Ugh, someone kill me! _ was Sakura's first thought when she woke up to a mini ninja driving a kunai into her skull. She held head between her hands and squeezed but that still didn't stop the pounding. Utterly miserable, she buried her head back under the pillow. It was a nice pillow that smelled like dark spice and forest mist and…Sasuke?

A flashback hit her of the night before; Naruto, the drinking, calling Sasuke. Oh, God! She tried to convince herself it was just a nightmare. But it was too vivid to be a figment of her imagination.

She groaned as she recalled the rest, the drunk talking, the shouting… the kiss. And, then what?

Panicked, Sakura lifted her head so quickly that she made herself dizzy and nauseous. She looked around the room. Definitely Sasuke's room! She barely kept herself from whimpering.

Then, the rest of the memories hit her in little snippets. Sasuke getting her home, her not finding her keys and suggesting that he break down the door, him wisely refusing (her neighbor wouldn't appreciate being woken up at 3 am), getting to his house, another make-out session half way up to his room, borrowing his cloths and falling asleep on his bed.

Not knowing if she was relieved or disappointed or utterly humiliated, Sakura took a slower look across the room, assessing her chances of sneaking out of the house running into Sasuke. Was he regretting last night, thinking that she was an annoying fangirl again?

On the nightstand, there was a note with her name on it. Dreading what she might read, she opened it.

_Sakura,_

_I know what you're thinking! Don't run!_

_Went out to get breakfast. There's water and aspirin on the kitchen counter. I'll be right back._

_-The douchebag_

Jumping out of bed smiling –which quickly turned into a grimace when her head seemed to make a full one-eighty in her skull, she thought maybe he wasn't such a douchebag after all.

_**Somewhere away and hidden from the Hyuuga compound,**_

A white-eyed girl cuddled up with a whiskered boy.

"How did you know she was going to call him?"

"I didn't I was going to call him myself." The blond boy looked up at the sky smiling at whoever it was that had a sense of humor up there, "Looks like I wasn't the only one trying to get them together."

The girl laughed. "You know, you're little performance with Sakura was a little too convincing?"

"I know. I should be getting awards for it. But, no one seems to recognize my true talent. Except you of course."

"Uh huh."

That was a very suspicious 'uh huh'.

"Are you thinking that scene was true?" he said disbelievingly.

Actually, she didn't. She can see his feelings loud and clear. But, she wasn't above a little manipulation to get her way.

"Honey, you know that wasn't true." He insisted.

"Prove it."

"How?"

"Tell my father about us."

….

_Gulp_

**_-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0_**

**So, how was it? A master piece? A waste of internet space? Only way to know is if you review! And remember, reviews=love (most of the times)**

**Peace-out**


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